The 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' UK Tour Diary

The show was a great finale to the tour. It’s a lovely venue, and great fun when it’s full – and the sound quality was excellent. The audience were on fine form, and there was another standing ovation at the end.

Jem Roberts was hoping to get into the theatre before the show to do some research for his book. I didn’t spot him, but heard from him later that he came to the show but his schedule prevented him from saying hello on the night.

A few merry souls greeted us at the stage door, including Chris who requested an autograph but whose SG name I decided not to attempt to spell! Lisa was there again and had chats with Tim’s agent Jill, who she’d met at the first Goodies show in Parramatta.

On the way back to the hotel, Barry treated me to fish and chips in the street before we retired to the hotel bar for drinks.

Barry had done his one-man show in the Lake District the night before. He showed me the programme which featured a cheeky pic of him with the bold caption:
WITH A 20 MINUTE INTERNAL.
PLUS PRIZE RAFFLE DRAW!
I said it seemed an interesting way to draw the tickets.

At breakfast on Tuesday morning we all agreed we were sorry the tour was over, but it had been such fun to do and had been so successful with the audiences, we are determined to take it out on the road again next year. So sincere thanks once again to everyone who supported us in this venture, and watch this space!

Now we have to prepare for the first of the new recordings in Croydon. Thinking up new gags is going to come as a bit of a shock…

Another jolly evening with the audience on their feet at the end. You’ve probably seen the write-up on Helen’s blog. Helen was at the stage door, with Clair and Kate. Alison was there too with Lisa of GROK who had flown over from the States. It was also great to see Jane who had come from Australia, who we had last seen in Sydney some time ago, and will shortly see again in Croydon! Sadly she is travelling without her Union Jack waistcoat.

David Burns, who had been our PR man the Goodies show in Edinburgh and on tour in the UK was there too, and we were able to have a far too brief chat.

As I live not far from Oxford, I drove back home from Ipswich and had time for a bite to eat and a snooze before going into town for the show. Barry and Jeremy had a lift with Humph, who they said was an excellent driver. I don’t know why they sounded surprised – he can do anything!

The show went well, which was handy as my wife and agent were both in to see it! Strange how audiences at different venues have slightly different reactions to the show. The good folk of Ipswich and Oxford were equally discerning, but differed slightly in what they particularly enjoyed. And I wouldn’t say the Oxford audience’s taste was more intellectual – not at all, if anything they seemed more keen on the rude bits!

Helen, Clair and Kate were among the supporters who waited at the stage door.

Only four shows left – and so far the tour has been going extremely well. For the visit to Ipswich we treated ourselves to a stay at Hintlesham Hall, a decidedly posh hotel which was once Robert Carrier’s cookery school. My room struck me as pretty gigantic until I saw Jeremy’s, which was on two levels. Tim then informed us he had an entire wing to himself. I took a stroll round the immaculate grounds, and discovered a gym and fitness centre at the bottom of the garden. No I wasn’t tempted. I was a bit daunted when I saw a very fit looking chap in a track suit emerge and jog down the path and then, when he was at a safe distance from the gym, light up his ciggie.

The show went smoothly, and the audience kazoo playing was exceptional. For some reason it’s always easier to identify the piece when played by the women alone!

Barry has had the return of an allergy that troubled him in Edinburgh last year. This time the doctor’s first question was ‘Have you been eating Chinese food?’ Let’s hope it’s not the result of our Birmingham banquet!

As we were already all in Birmingham and at a bit of a loose end, Humph treated us all to a lunchtime feast at his favourite Chinese restaurant. It was a massive banquet – one of those where the starters are so numerous and tasty that, by the time the rice and main dishes arrive, you have to take a deep breath and undo the belt a notch to make room.

After our huge meal, we were all determined not to let the show get too relaxed, and everything went pretty well until the time came for the Swanee Kazoo feature, when I noticed that there was no Swanee Whistle on my desk where it ought to be. I hurried to the wings and Naismith rushed off to grab one for me. I made it back just in time to join in the number. I don’t think any music lovers noticed the odd wobbly note…

Humph seems to be enjoying himself more and more as the tour goes on! Tonight, after he hit a spectacularly high note on the trumpet at the end of the show, the audience once again gave a standing ovation.

Gave Baz a lift to Birmingham. He doesn’t drive – never has – and gets to most gigs by train or gets a lift. Just time for a quick sandwich at the hotel and a short rest before going in to the theatre. During the show we all tried out various little changes, to keep each other alert. As always 84 Chicken Cross Road was a bit hit and miss, but the audience seem to enjoy it when we lose our way as much as when something apparently clever happens. Jess, Peej and Kirstyn, having seen the show in Leeds, put in a welcome second appearance. Hugs all round.

We made our way to Tunbridge Wells where we stayed in the splendid Spa Hotel. Tim and I stayed there during the Goodies tour, and we were very happy to make ourselves at home there once more. Before going to the venue, Barry and I had a lunchtime sandwich in the bar where we were hailed by a local ‘character’. We escaped intact.

The kazoos had finally arrived and were being stored by Tim – the only person in the outfit with the room to house them all. The Tunbridge Wellians used them to good effect and made a mighty din. The show went well once again, and Andrew Pixley has posted his account. It was good to have a chat with Andrew and his wife Julie after the show, and he gave me a VHS of archive material featuring myself, that I’m sure I shall enjoy watching when I pluck up the courage.

Carrie the Minx and Rosemarie were at the show too, and we had a jolly chat afterwards.

This was probably the smoothest show so far. We had a lively and bright audience who were quite selective in their responses, appreciating some gags much more than others. At the end, as Humph hit a blistering high note on his trumpet, they all rose to give a standing ovation. A very pleasing end to the first phase of our tour.

Again the show was well received, despite several things going wrong! Our most serious problem was the lack of kazoos for the audience. Our consignment for the first two shows had been flown over from China, but the rest were coming by sea. As the curtain went up in Nottingham our boatload of kazoos was tempest-tossed in a typhoon off the coast of Java! (Actually I think they were stuck in a Customs Shed in Felixstowe but I prefer the more romantic version.) But it takes more than that to faze a Clue audience, and they rose to the occasion by humming their hearts out.

Then Humph accidentally turned over two of his script cards at once and we got severely out of sync, but he was totally unruffled as the old jazzman’s instincts cut in and he improvised and had a whale of a time!

It was nice to see Andrew Pixley and his wife Julie after the show for a quick chat – he has reported on the evening and its ups and downs in a post. Nottingham was certainly a memorable experience!

Vince, the chef at the theatre, gave us all a roast dinner before the show. A Vince roast dinner consists of roast beef, lamb and chicken with potatoes veg and Yorkshire pudding all swimming in rich gravy. It’s a miracle we were able to stagger to the stage!

Another good show and we’re all enjoying the performances, especially the rapport with the audience. I don’t think we will do any major tinkering with it for now as it seems to be bedding in nicely, but there will no doubt be a few tweaks from time to time. One of the changes to make the show more theatrical is that, for the musical numbers, the singer stands solo centre stage in a spotlight to deliver the number. It’s a joy to see a huge audience screaming its approval for Jeremy Hardy, Man of Music.

It looks as if the schedule is not going to be too exhausting, although Naismith has the most knackering job. He transports all the props, sound effects etc and sets them up on stage, then has his warm-up and various other jobs on stage. It has to be said that Samantha has let us down a little from time to time, but she is such a lovely lass we do try not to make things hard for her.

It was great to see a delegation of Giddies at the stage door, Peej, Kirstyn and Jess who had brought her folks along.

John Pinder from Oz who organised the Goodies tours down under was there and thoroughly enjoyed the show. He was on his way home from the Edinburgh Festival, and it was fun to catch up on all the latest news.

We all met up at the Bristol Hippodrome to spend the afternoon checking through the material and working out the staging. We had discussed ways of making the show more visual and theatrical, but decided that if we changed it too much it wouldn’t be ‘Clue’! As it turned out the audience seemed more than happy to witness what was basically a radio recording without the recording! They were in festive mood, and not only extremely enthusiastic, but also very well behaved. They got their kazoos handed out at the start of the show and were on the whole very responsible with them!

Naismith the Producer whipped them into a frenzy with his warm-up routine: more than a decade’s worth of old jokes. The show went very well, although there were one or two hitches, and the odd item that we later decided to change. The show will change a little from night to night anyway – partly to keep us all on our toes!

There was a great cheer in the finale when Humph produced his trumpet. Sadly, however, one of the valves was stuck, and although the Chairman gave a fascinating display of Zen and the Art of Trumpet Maintenance, he was unable to fix it in time to play along with Colin Sell and the rest of us performing ‘We’ll Meet Again’ on our kazoos and swanee whistles. He must have been mortified.

But by and large a great evening, and a very good reception. The friendly supporters who came to see us at the stage door were very enthusiastic, and it was good to see Jem Roberts there, who is busy writing about Clue and ISIRTA.